Have Sex When You're Not Married?

I'm sorry, but you can't be a follower of Jesus and have sex outside of marriage.

Sex outside of marriage is called fornication--adultery if one or both of the people involved are married.
A lot of people won't tell you this, because they are afraid they'll offend you and you won't go to their church.  But--this is what the Bible says, over and over again.

God has a very special and specific plan for marriage, between one man and one woman, and sex plays a beautiful and important part in that relationship.  This is the ONLY context in which sex is permitted, for the people of God.

A lot of people want to push it to the limit, debate over what is considered 'sex', and talk about 'gray areas' in regards to God's rules for us.  If that's you, consider this:  when we step outside of God's perfect will, into His permissive will, we are one step closer to sin.

People talk about degrees of sin, or big sins and little sins--the way I see it, sin is a progression . . . you step out of God's perfect will into His permissive will, a couple more steps and you are into sin.  Each further step draws you deeper into more and more vile sin.  BE ASSURED, you will continue walking, or being pulled, in one direction or the other!

Righteousness and sin each have a pull--like gravity, if you will.  If you cannot resist the pull towards sin when you are close to God, how do you think you will resist the pull deeper into sin once you've taken a few steps further away from God? 


Sin will pull you towards it, but God expects you to WALK towards Him.  He will not pull you.  You demonstrate your will by your action.  But He WILL meet you half-way!  You can't fight sin on your own!

My advice, and where I think is the best place to draw the line?  Anything that is going to arouse a feeling of desire is going too far.  Whether that's fantasies, touches, kisses, what you look at, what you listen to, where you go . . . whatever!  It is much 'easier' (not that resisting this is ever easy) to stop before you ever start!!

If you have already gone too far and want to stop--STOP!!  And be prepared for the fight of your life.  This is a temptation you will have to battle every day, from now on, unless God supernaturally sets you free from your biological programming.  Just because we are 'made that way' doesn't mean it's ok to live that way!

God calls upon His followers to set themselves apart . . . to demonstrate to the world that we live by a higher standard (not as animals do) and that Christians are imbued with spiritual power (from Him) that gives us extraordinary abilities and makes us overcomers!


Don't play with sin, don't give in to temptation!  Turn away from temptation and run to God!  You don't know what you're messing with!

There are no 'little sins' and 'big sins'.  Sin is just an outward expression of   'where your heart is at', of your will.   Are you walking towards God, or away from Him?  That is the real issue.  All sins lead to the same destination--because God doesn't judge our sins, He judges our hearts.


You cannot sample sin and not be drawn in!  Tempting is the bait that draws you into the web of sin, but its sticky, invisible threads will bind you tightly. Then the forces of evil will come and feast upon you, injecting poisonous deception, anger, and rebellion and sucking out of you every last drop of your innocence, goodness, love and sanity.

If you don't believe me--talk to someone else who has been there.  Once you sin, you will never be the same again.  God can heal you, but you will always bear the scars, and suffer the consequences, of the choices you make.